Finding love or sex partners / Part 3
Making the right moves for love or sex
Once you have met someone who sparks your love interest, don’t be afraid to make the first move. Whether it’s asking for their number, inviting them for a coffee, or complimenting them on their smile, showing your interest can help break the ice and start a conversation.
Of course, you should also respect their boundaries and signals, and not be pushy or creepy. Remember that rejection is part of the process, and not everyone will be interested in you. Don’t take it personally and move on.
It’s the same if you’re looking for sex. Don’t be afraid to make the first move and don’t worry about instant rejection – it’s part of the territory. The rejection may even be brutal but again, don’t take it personally. Respect that person’s decision and carry on looking.
The biggest single hassle when finding casual sex partners is usually hosting. Often finding somewhere to do the deed is the biggest challenge, so if you can take that out of the equation, you’re more likely to have success. The same if you can be flexible in terms of times and days because the more obstacles you put up, the lower your chances of getting laid.
But never disregard your personal safety, ask lots of questions, ask for pictures, watch out for scams, and practice safe sex. Trust your gut – and if they sound/look too good to be true, chances are something is amiss – so be wary.
But once you’re sure – follow through, don’t expect real-life to necessarily match your online chat, and make the most of it. Good or bad, it’s an experience – if it’s bad it’s a learning experience, and if it’s good, well, lucky you.
Try these tips to make a good impression
- Be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else.
- Be positive and avoid complaining, criticizing, belittling, or mocking.
- Be clean, freshly showered, and smelling like roses.
- Be attentive and listen actively to what they say.
- If you want an ongoing relationship, be curious and ask open-ended questions.
- Be humorous and make them laugh – unless you are there for serious sex!
And if you have hooked up for sex, ask them what they want from a hookup – it’s not all about you.
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